By: Luz Garcia
Ever since I began writing I've wanted to write about this topic, but I never did because I didn't want to put my insecurities out there. I wanted to write about this topic when I came to terms with who I am and what I look like because it's hard to admit to anyone that you may feel self-conscience about yourself. Today, I feel like I have learned to embrace me and my body and can now tackle the issue head-on for the sake of skinny girls like me!
I cannot even begin to explain how many Tweets, Facebook statuses, and hundreds of articles bashing skinny girls I see on a daily basis. I guess it's the new IT thing. It's disgusting to think that one group of women has to put another group of women down to feel better about themselves.
Some women, like myself, are naturally thin. Yes, I eat. Yes, I'd love to gain weight. I've tried my whole life to have thick sexy legs. But my frame was built tiny and no matter how much I try I may never achieve those legs. And just like heavier girls, I've been teased too. Skinny girls can't help being skinny any more than overweight girls can help being overweight. We're both human, and we're both vulnerable.
I've never understood the double standard.
Why is it insulting to call a person fat, but okay to call a person a stick? Why can't you tell a fat person to go on a diet, but you can tell a skinny person to eat something? Why is it taboo to say she looks obese because you can sorta see a gut, but okay to point out that she looks anorexic because you can sorta see her ribs? Do skinny girls not have feelings?
Media influence...
has a lot to do with these anti-skinny sentiments. The media has un-deliberately vilified thin women by holding them responsible for society's beauty standards, and accusing models for example, of having eating disorders and setting a bad example for girls everywhere (I'd like to point out that not everyone who is thin has an eating disorder). To counter that, many campaigns like Dove have risen to promote "healthier" body types.
I'm all up for campaigning to promote self confidence. But let me address the campaign methods and how they contradict themselves.
"Real women have curves" Dove has used it in its Real Beauty Campaign and it's one of the most used quotes when showing support to women who are... well, curvier.
Technically all women have curves, big or small, they're there; curves are a part of all feminine silhouettes, but people have taken this quote that's meant to celebrate women of ALL body types out of context; instead they use it to support all body types THAT ARE NOT thin types, because apparently if you're thin, you don't have any curves. Hence, you are not a real woman. Sorry.
Another one is "Being skinny is not good, being healthy is." Many girls that are skinny believe it or not, are in fact, healthy.
And of course one of my personal least favorites, "Men like women with meat on their bones" Hmmm odd that a woman is telling me this (because 89.6% of the time it is a woman) seeing it as she is in no way a man and has no right to generalize the personal taste in women of all men. In my personal experience, and mind you I'm very thin, I haven't had too much of a rough time finding a date. I'm pretty sure I win them over with my amazing personality :D but some of them have actually told me that they are attracted to me [insert surprised emoticon here]. And they are REAL men. Crazy... I know. There are tastes for everyone, some like thick girls, others prefer them thin. Who woulda thought?
Most of these "confidence boosters" are counterproductive. They enhance one groups confidence while they scrutinize and put down another's.
Then there are the myths...
the ones that make people think that thin people are "lucky" for.
All clothes fitting. False. Along with, all clothes look good on you. False.
Growing up, my mom along with mothers of skinny daughters all over the world, had the hardest time finding clothes, more specifically bottoms that fit. So all of my skirts and pants had to be taken in. Sometimes smalls are too big because contrary to popular belief smalls are made for girls that are size 3 and up. So if you are a size 0-2 tough luck. Now all grown up, some jeans are just hard to fill, and good luck shopping for dresses!
Articles like "10 things I hate about skinny people" don't help our cause. Going down the list they all seem like ridiculous reasons to me but I'll address #6 on here since I find it to be a common misconception.
6. "They don’t feel compelled to finish all the food on their plate. When they’re full, they’re full. They don’t eat a single bite after they make this announcement. In return, we end up eating their leftovers.”
Wow, couldn't be any more wrong! It's actually very awkward when you as a thin person only want to order a salad, or can't finish everything on your plate. Thin people, for the most part feel like they have to prove to everyone that they are healthy and not anorexic, just because there's always that stigma. Therefore, if we find ourselves in a situation where you have to sit and eat it in public, with someone else that we may not feel too comfortable with, we feel as if we HAVE to finish everything to avoid hearing comments like "that's why you're so skinny, you don't eat." One too many times I found myself over-eating just so that people wouldn't judge me if I didn't finish my plate.
In conclusion...
not everyone who is thin wants to be, just like not everyone who is overweight wants to be either.
Messages like the ones I just discussed are in the public eye everyday, and sometimes we think them, and sometimes we say them; and we don't know how they will affect the receiving end. Commenting on a person's weight is not okay, unless it is a positive comment or if it is a serious matter of concern, and if that's the case then tact and courtesy is crucial.
If you have to put someone down to validate your own weight then there's a deeper self-esteem issue lying there. Instead of worrying about others focus on yourself. Work on the body you want to achieve. A body that you believe is healthy for you, because what may be healthy for you may not be healthy for others. You're only given one life, and in that life only one body to go through it with, so love the body you're in.
I love mine, and I think it's beautiful.
